Brokenhearted

The last two weeks in ministry have been two of the hardest. I found out that two girls that are close to my heart were in a really abusive home. Through the last month things have gotten worst to the point where the girls finally came to us confessing what they had been experiencing. We had the ability to talk with the girls about their experiences, what it looked like to protect them and also get them into a safe home. 

We called CSB along with many others to report their case. I personally felt like our hands were tied. I was frustrated, sad and angry. Leaders joined the staff in praying that God would comfort them, give them strength to get through the day, and would intervene by getting the girls out of the home  We were waiting and waiting for CSB to move and get them out. Everything climaxed with abuse on Monday, which led to the girls running to a friend’s house. They called my co-worker and informed her that they were safe. They went to school the next morning and CSB took them into custody. They have been placed with their aunt for the time being.

I have been pondering over Psalm 139, specifically 7-12

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
   even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
   even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.

These verses have been extremely comforting to me as the girls had to leave First Glance and return to their abusive home. I love the truth that that there is no place that  we can go that God won’t be there. I am thankful that these girls do have a relationship with God and are depending on Him for the strength. I would ask you to join us in praying that the girls in this hard time would be comforted, wouldn’t turn to cheap substitutes and that the love that God has for them would be made real to them. Pray as they battle feelings of love and anger for their parents. Pray for wisdom for the staff as we counsel and love them. 

Bittersweet

Throughout my experiences in ministry, I am realizing the importance of the bittersweet moments. I have been reading a book called, Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist and she says,  

"Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness. Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines of our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity."

In the past two weeks I’ve seen many bitter moments. One of these being with a student Michael*, who Cody and I have been investing into since last spring. Every other week he comes, mows our grass and will occasionally stay and eat lunch with us. Earlier this fall we realized how successful he was becoming in football and how bright of a future he has ahead of him. Sadly, we found out two weeks ago that Michael has been making some poor decisions, one of those including quitting the football team. In finding out this news, Cody and I were sad, frustrated and a little angry that he was throwing away such a great opportunity. After finding out this news we saw him on a Rec Night at FG. Cody had a conversation of what was going on at home and at school. The following Sunday he came, mowed our grass and proceeded to tell us that he approached his coach and was back on the football team. Getting back on the team required him approaching his whole team, humbling himself and apologizing. Saturday Cody and I got to seem him play in his last game of the season. We felt like proud parents. I have realized the vast amount of moments in ministry that make me sad and often bring me to my knees in tears. In the darkest of moments when I simply don’t know what to say or do I cling to Jesus. He is my only hope. 

A recent sweet moment was having a really intentional conversation about Christ with a student that I have known for two years. I have seen this young woman come into First Glance as a 6th grader and now is getting ready for her high school years. The conversation revolved around her discovering that going to Heaven wasn’t based off of how good of a person she could be, but was based off of realizing that faith in Jesus was the only way. Through that conversation I can say confidently that she does love Christ and has a desire to be transformed. It was such a beautiful hope filled moment.   

Through Christ and experiencing sweet moments I am able to have faith in the bitter moments when things, people and situations seem hopeless. 


**Student's name changed for privacy.